Friend

You see now I hate the friends I’ve got

They think their funny, take the fucking piss a lot,

I stopped talking, let the mother fuckers rot,

It’s their fault I lost the motherfucking plot

See these friends, they talk about money

I aint got none, and they think it’s pretty funny,

They bang on about banging their ex

It’s pretty anal how they talk about sex

Hey guys, why don’t we measure our dicks,

And then let’s go out, let’s get fucking pissed,

And then tomorrow when we’re feeling like shit,

It’s embarrassing – whatever you did

These friends don’t talk they share memes

I’ve seen six I thought were fucking obscene,

I pray to heaven that god hasn’t seen

My guilty conscience can’t wait to be clean

See these friends, they like to quote some shit that’s smart,

They’ve got being fake down to a fine fucking art

They bought a hot wheels, they tell you they bought a car

They shit their pants and tell you it’s just a little fart

See these friends just want to know they’re important

Sorry mate - I think you’re impotent

Your ego’s snide, I think you’re a rodent

You won’t see me again.

You’re a terrible friend

All shit things must come to an end

I’m not lying, and this aint pretend,

You all talk like boys, let’s act like men,

Yeh, so we got back from way back when,

Fuck living in the past that’s then,

Fuck living in the past my friend

You won’t see me again.

You’re a terrible friend…